Project Merlin, a Wizards Sleeve

So the government has done a deal with the banks. It is hailed by the chancellor, but it is a sham. I work for a bank, an effectively state owned one at that. They are cutting jobs and work places as we speak. Yet the big boys are going to get the bonuses now. I'm not. Not a penny. So how does Project Merlin help me? How does it help my colleagues and me?

Project Merlin, the banking deal, is basically two groups of public school types thrashing out a rough deal of increased lending to SMEs and token bonus control and disclosure.

The increased lending of 15% at ono £10 billion sounds impressive, but the economy shows signs of recovery especially in manufacturing so as businesses begin to expand you would expect lending to increase. Further, it is the lack of lending by the banks in the first place that caused the crash so that they have agreed to return to their proper role is not in any way a development worthy of crowing about. That they had to have a big sit down to do it is even worse.

USELESS GOBSHITES.

Pasta Bake Incoming

I am making a pasta bake. You can too. This is heart attack food but so tasty. I don't do weights and measures and precise timings. It's done when its done.

Fry up an onion, a pepper, some mushrooms and cherry tomatoes. Use oil at first but then add water. This will evaporate, leaving behind concentrated flavour. After the veg has juicified a bit add peices of Chicken and Bacon. Also season and add herbs. Let this cook through for at least half a hour. Then add a tin of tomatoes to create the sauce. Finally add a small pot of double cream. Then turn down the heat a simmer some more.

Meanwhile cook some Penne pasta and make some bread crumbs. Grated cheese is also helpful. Put the pasta in the baking dish, then add the sauce and mix it up. Then layer the cheese and bread crumbs on the top and wap it in the oven till the cheese and bread crumbs are melted and crisped. Noms.  

Top Gear Mexico Debacle

HAHAHAHA CLARKSON YOU ARE FUNNY SO FUNNY I'M GOING TO FORCE AN EMPTY CRISP PACKET THROUGH MY EYE SOCKET HAHAHAHA

Having got that out of my system I'm going to try to examine why it's OK to be casually racist, if you're an overweight, unfunny, overpaid, car-obsessed boring twat. They speak to the lowest common denominator of base humour. LETS PISS ABOUT IN CARS. RACIST STEREOTYPES. The following is a tour through the though

You know Germans, ruthless and efficient. Making things, gassing minorities and commies and invading everywhere. I mean there's no culture in Germany is there? Berlin in the artistic centre of contin
ental Europe? ARE YOU HAVING A LAUGH? BEER SWILLING NAZIS THAT LOT. Good cars though. And football.

MEXICANS, There's a lazy shit bunch of cunts, eh? Always sleeping, eating sick....

SHUT UP YOU THICK FUCKS. YOU'RE SPREADING IGNORANCE LIKE A STD, SHOVING THE PHALLUS OF YOUR IDIOCY INTO THE DIM CREVICE OF DARKNESS OF BOY RACERS LIKE THE EDL. It was only a bit of fun was it? Harmless laughs? Was it funny when Hammond crashed? I mean twats do tend to crash their cars so what can be expected eh? HAHAHAHA I mean he's English so he probably can't read, have you seen their schools?

Oh God it makes me angry. I despise TOP GEAR. Clarkson the most. What a nob.

The Madness of Library Closures

THE MADNESS MUST STOP!


The proposed library cuts will hit Bolton hard. According to the Bolton News: "libraries in Breightmet, Astley Bridge, Bromley Cross, Heaton, High Street in Daubhill, Castle Hill, Tonge Moor, Oxford Grove in Halliwell, The Orchards in Farnworth and Harwood could all face the axe." This is not only attack on literacy and access to education and culture, but an attack on ordinary people. A savage denial of the right to be entertained through civic effort, of the right to a quiet space of learning, to a repository of human culture. The "Big Society" so lauded by the Conservative led coalition is made so utterly bankrupt, so hollow and duplicitous as to totally invalidate any legitimacy and mandate the government has.

The Central Library in Bolton is an exceptional piece of the cultural framework of the town, housed in the beautiful Le Mans Crescent it is the centre of an excellent set of community libraries. The classical facade is a  natural meeting place, a place to greet and cherish a freshly withdrawn book, to chat with friends and share a lingering cigarette as the clouds gather in another Lancashire town. It was fitting that as part of the resistance and opposition to the travesty of the Library closures policy a demonstration was held there on Saturday the 5th of February by community groups and library users. Sadly it was a day of torrential rainfall which somewhat dampened the turnout and staying power of the protest. Nonetheless there was vigour and conviction in the opposition to the cuts, shared across the generations.

Bolton Green Party was there, demonstrating the Green Party's commitment to an alternative to the harsh and destructive ConLib cuts. The lack of other visible political parties compounded this and spoke of the bankruptcy of the Labour Party, especially damaging in a working class mill town such a Bolton, right in the heart of the traditional Labour strongholds.

PLEASE JOIN US AND SAVE OUR LIBRARIES!

Romeo & Juliet: the hipster version

So last night I went to see Romeo & Juliet at the Octagon in Bolton. I love that theater, its one of the great things about the town.

This play however not so much. One of Shakespeare's most famous and quoted works, it is a very strong foundation on which to build a play.
The setting was unsure of itself, we see at the beginning two *ultras*, one in a Roma shirt, another in the pale blue of Lazio, rival clubs from Rome. So is it set in Rome? Or Verona? Clearly textual authenticity must be maintained in linguistic terms but this incongruity was just the start of a jumbled up confused staging of the play.

On the one hand the costume was raging hipster, daft glasses and Sharp suits, and the other Juliet was rocking a 60s look, and the maid glamour ready for a night up Deansgate Locks. It was confused and uncohesive.

The cast as a whole was too old and a bit too rotund, not the fountain of youth at which first love tosses the penny of passion and conflict. They should be supple and vigorous, not portly and meandering.

Tibalt was somewhat fey and camp, despite snarled teeth and jackboots, not a 'duelist' of the first order. A black vest with a minor belly compounded this image. Mercutio too was older and rounder than he should have been. He did play the role with full physicallity and innuendo, but with garbled voice serrating the dialogue now and then as a blunt saw on cheap wood.

Romeo himself was too old and too deliberated, his passion calculated and madness full of method. He also unleashed a torrent of saliva with each new sentence, over pronouncing.

The maid, played by Michelle Collins of Eastenders fame, was a travesty. Over dressed and too young in appearance she blurred the line between maid and mother, who are meant to be seperate, by years and by social class. Why then did she have Gucci bags? She attacked the words with the subtlety of a pickaxe to the head, with no flow or poetry at all. She started with a cockney accent, then after the interval became posh, and then reverted to cockney.

Amidst this travesty of errors, Juliet was a revelation. A thin whisp of a woman she had the requisite youth to play her part. The balcony scene was modern, was fresh and she gave it the nervous energy of young love.

All on all must do better.

Berlin, Germany and Everything

Berlin is in all senses of the word modern. It is a city going forward, a metropolis of the future despite its overpowering past. New construction work is everywhere and the city is replete with contemporary Steel and glass skyscrapers and renovated buildings and façades. Formerly dour areas in the old DDR sections of the city are now trendy cosmopolitan areas with fashionable bars and restaurants. The city is finally healing after 70 years of strife beginning in WW2, and throughout the Cold War. 

The past, of course, lives on with the difference in 'Green Men' at traffic lights, streets with names like 'Karl Marx Allee' (formerly Stalinallee). The DDR's Fernsehturm is visible throughout the city, a stark reminder of the old regime's grand and flawed vision. 

A symbol of the transcendence of this past in the dome of the Reichstag, a building familiar to any student of 20th century for its association with the 2nd & 3rd Reichs. A British architect was behind the transformation, moving the building beyond the 20th century not in architectural terms (though it is impressive) but in cultural and historic terms with the glass dome more striking and memorable than the buildings past, something that would have seemed impossible before 1990. 

Berlin is the largest and capital city of Germany, so it is appropriate that it is a fast moving city. It's hustle and bustle is not rooted in big commerce & business, as in London, something that has stayed in the west in cities like Frankfurt, or through self importance like Paris. It is cultural, as something IS happening somewhere. Something very interesting. An exhibition, new sculptures, a gallery, new music, new squats.... 

It is something that has been in the city for some time, since at least the 1920s if not before. David Bowie's 3 best albums were a response to Berlin, "the Berlin trilogy" of Low, Heroes & Lodger. In the 1920s Berlin was the centre for European film and now the city hosts an eminent film festival. 

This creativity is something that is not associated with Germany by the English as a whole. England is a country where Germany cannot escape association with the war, efficiency and the image of moustachioed men suffering from mullets drinking hearty glasses of bier. This attitude is unfair and outdated, but more to do with English insularity than anything else. 

Berlin doesn't care and nor should it. It has something vital and passionate, something any English city should be jealous of, and many wish they had. Manchester thinks it is creative and interesting. Berlin is. Manchester reinvented itself once, in the late 1990s and lost whatever gave it soul, and gained a new shopping centre and over priced yuppie district. Berlin has reinvented itself 5 times in less than a 100 years, gaining each time a new dynamism and character.

The city has much to offer visitors. Berliners are friendly and many speak English, especially in "die Mitte". The museums are world class, cheap and extensive. The Jewish Museum is a wonder, almost worth a visit in and off itself such is its depth and breadth. Here in one building, Germany deals with its past in public, with sensitivity and grace, omitting nothing and creating a narrative stretching back to the 12th century. There is in fact a small island inthe River Spree, called "Museuminsel" (Museum Island) covered with museums. Onecould visit for a month and still have plenty to go round.

Berlin is blessed with numerous bars, serving fantastic beer at low prices. It really does make your average crappy English lager look like piss (there are many high quality English beers but they often aren't served in pubs/bars, at least not round our way). Germany seems to not have as much problems with booze, with revellers drinking happily on the street bothering no one. The one time on my visits to Germany that there has been trouble drinking was caused byan English squaddie in Paderbonn.

Traditional German food involves hearty chunks of meat, with lashings of potatoes and cabbage. This has not changed much, but this food does go well with large amounts of Pils. They have a natural affinity and this excellent combination can be had in Berlin all over town. As a major city there are many fine restaurants of many different cuisines, but to be fair Berlin is not a gastronomic destination unless you have a love affair with stodge. Culturally and historically it is a major destination. It is an amazingly interesting city.

God of War

The God of War games are amazing. The PS2/3 trilogy is just action start to finish. Immense liberties are taken with ancient Greek mythology to stunning effect, with this being a fine example. Kratos, the main character, is somewhat limited in his emotions, with a range going from anger to rage. A whirlwind of destruction, once a Spartan general and later a fallen god Kratos despite his limited range and simple characterisation transcends his simplicity through the grandeur of the Ancient Greek settings. That and killing everything. Everything.

The first game was at the time the pinnacle of PS2 action adventure, and indeed one of the very best of that console generation. It was an immense technical achievement with limited loading times, immense scale and an immense audio score. Graphically it was gifted with great animation and detailed environments. Later ported to PS3 as part of the God of War Collection (seemingly starting a trend) it is still one of the best action games on Playstation.



Kratos's first adventure was not flawless, featuring some frustrating platforming sections and inane puzzles. It also had a charming B-movie feel, as if it were almost a Saturday morning cartoon expanded and digitized with buckets of gore. This was something changed in the inevitable sequel God of War 2.

This game was a blockbuster through and through. Its opening level was jaw dropping and set the ever increasing tone. Filled with better puzzles, mini-bosses and epic epic sections God of War 2 improved on it's prequel in almost every way. The scale can be jaw dropping still in the age of HD consoles.




God of War 2 expanded on the fictionalised version of the Greek mythology in the games and sets up the return of the Titans to fight the Gods of Olympus. This is a neat set up for the third game which essentially follows directly on from the second game.